I must admit as part of my own practice, I generally do try to become non-attached. Non-attachment (vairāgya; वैराग्य), leading a sattvic lifestyle – not being under the influence or ingestion – really helps with arriving at a meditative state of consciousness, or samadhi (समाधि) at a much more reasonable pace.. in a non-violent, as they call it ahimsa (अहिंसा), way of arriving, as it is.
Yet truth be told, much as I enjoy my practice and cannot imagine a life without having found my way back into yoga… I am no renunciate. I drink coffee, and enjoy my occasional bottle(s) of wine.. miss, my long hair, having loved ones around, soaking in bliss and being in my comfort zone. Having cans of worms opened up in my last trip in the recent choice of dwelling, layers of protection and defence are slowly being stripped, but all this done – to hopefully be bare, genuine authenticity.
Sedation is no true living, if I run away further, how am I no different from being a hypocrite?
I am heartened by the love and bliss that is all around every time I come home… thankful for all the ones that are still around, still staying. And I honestly struggle with my decision to leave.. albeit for now.
There is a certain vision for what I hope to achieve, a strong inkling of the direction I would like to go. By far its methods not quite tried and tested, by far my goals might just be mad in certain eyes, but it is with good faith, intention, hope with due diligence and practicality, perhaps that for one may the heart be able to expand, encompass and truly take heed & good care – whenever possible – of all the beautiful beings that have touched my little life in one way or another. If only but to serve my community better.
Home. It’s never about the place but purely, essentially, the people. It is where the heart is.. and my heart is in so many places.
I know I am truly blessed.